WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
