seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
two words...techno handjob
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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