go do what you do best...puke behind churches
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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