I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish I could punch you in the face.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
