So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
