exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
