Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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