Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
