I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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