I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
