Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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