my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
