Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
