She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
