it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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