who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
