and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Found your dick twin last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
