I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
