i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
