You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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