so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
