Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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