The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
