if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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