We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
