Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
