swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
