he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
