she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
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