Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My nipple is on Facebook.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
