How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
