What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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