Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
