Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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