You work out of a Hotel?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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