if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
