i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
