were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
