What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
