escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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