whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize