Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
