just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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