I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
