Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
