I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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