i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
