We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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