Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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