he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
