Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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